that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
