Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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