why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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