i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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