Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
