Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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