some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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