What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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