I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
vagina is talking i cant
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
