i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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