He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
