seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
