The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
