Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize