69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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