are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
