I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What drink are we having for lunch?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
