At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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