Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
