As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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