I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
