oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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