sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
