I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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