It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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