Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
