i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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