and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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