what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
