I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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