Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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