i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
