what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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