Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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