Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
