It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
