Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I look excited, but its just a facade.
im on a boat
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