When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
