Swine flu. Run for my life!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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