I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize