I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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