I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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