dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
