You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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