What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
