Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My vagina just clenched in fear
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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