And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
