I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
