Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
