I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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