Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
