fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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