i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
