Are we in a gay sports bar?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
