how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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