I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
