id be glad to
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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