Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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