Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
