Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
