I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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