the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize