just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
