Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
