windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
