"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I need water and some morals
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
