I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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