everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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