i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What a dumb baby whore.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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