Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
