I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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