she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
