Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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